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There was a time when I actually didn’t care much about picking up my phone the second I woke up. I wanted to rush downstairs, grab a coffee, do my daily workout, and then spend the rest of the day creating and working. I lived for it and absolutely loved it.
My brain was full of ideas that I was super excited to share. I’d work late into the night on my laptop to the point where the inside of my right elbow and wrist were consistently in pain from moving my mouse constantly. But I didn’t care. The pain was nothing compared to working hard and hitting my targets.
And then one day, I wasn’t anymore. I didn’t care about the work and had zero enthusiasm to create. The ideas had also dried up, and I felt frustrated. I couldn’t understand how I could go from one extreme to the other seemingly overnight.
I have lots of theories that I am probably right about as to why this happened, but that’s an article for another post. Earlier today, during my meditation times, I was reminded of how I used to spend that time—straight onto the latest project waiting for me on my laptop.
I always had a sense of God with me, and so I felt that I didn’t need to take time out to spend in His presence. And then this morning it hit me, that’s because work was my god. I worshipped my work, abilities, and giftings. I was walking in pride, thinking that in my own strength I could become all that I hoped to be. But that’s not how it works for those who have consecrated their life to Jesus.
God wants to remove the spirit of pride and self-reliance from us. And it’s not enough to just know it; you have to live it—total dependence on the Power of God.
God needed me to recognise that all I had and was able to do was from Him, which every Christian knows, but until we are broken, we don’t actually live it. I was reminded that He giveth and also taketh away, but most of all, God wants us to understand that all power, all gifting is from Him, and for His works to be done, we must be fully reliant and conscious of the Spirit of God, otherwise, we walk in limitation.
Apart from going back to having a prayer life, there are other things that the Holy Spirit has and continues to remove from my life so that I can be useful to Him. And day by day, more and more, I feel more Holy Spirit empowered.
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