Rediscovering Ambition and Vision

Over Ambitious, someone once called me.

How is it even possible to be overambitious? Personally, I believe that person just wanted to quench my fire, and I never took a word they said seriously.

But I am ambitious. I was raised that way. I was taught to believe that I could achieve great things. I don’t think I’m any more ambitious than the next person. Maybe, in fact, some are more ambitious than me… maybe. But for sure, I’ve definitely felt that in the things I wanted to do with my life, I could literally rule.

But this morning I realised that I had lost my ambition.

I’m glad I came to that conclusion because, for over a year, I could not quite put my finger on how I have been feeling. If you’ve been reading my social media posts, you’ll know I’ve spoken about feeling lost, having a career crisis, not quite knowing what I wanted to do anymore.

In fact, this weekend I opened up to my husband and shared that I had lost my passion. I just didn’t have that oomph. My husband responded that you mustn’t feel like a failure. It’s tough to get the things you want. “It’s not that I feel like a failure,” I replied. “I have never ever felt like a failure. Not once. No, that’s not it. The best way I can describe it is I have lost my passion.”

I used to wake up raring to go and the pump inside me would make me do a million and one things that day. I didn’t want a minute to go by without making sure that I had done them all. But then one day, it was gone. My days seem so slow. I almost didn’t know what to do anymore, and what I did do all seemed to be going through the motions.

That Sunday evening, after confessing to my husband that I had lost my passion, I read one of my favourite books. Only the first two pages, mind you, of The Art of Materialization. A thick, spiritual-based book that guides its readers to succeed. A book that in the past I have read cover to cover a few times. But two was all I could manage with little enthusiasm. Of those two pages, something stood out to me; it said, “Hold the vision in mind.” I made a mental hmph. Hold the vision. If I had ever done that in my life, I couldn’t be bothered to do it now – maybe it was a lack of belief in the concepts I had once held dear. I don’t even understand this feeling. All I know is that I don’t feel the same person, and a lack of passion is the best way I can describe it.

That was Sunday. And that idea has been coming back to me over the next couple of days. Hold the vision in mind. What does that even mean? How and why should I hold the vision in mind?

And then this morning, two days later during my quiet time, I realised it was more than a lack of passion; it was a lack of ambition. I had lost my ambition, that thing that drove me. Those mental images of what success had meant to me had disappeared. I used to hold the vision in mind without even realising it. And they gave me a strong desire to achieve. That was my ambition. But I didn’t have those visions anymore. You cannot have ambition when you do not have a vision. And when you have ambition, oh boy, do you feel the passion.

I’m pretty certain those ambitious types are out there saying, “How can you lose your ambition?” Don’t worry. I can relate. A couple of years back, the concept would have been inconceivable to me too, but it can happen. Suddenly, you can wake up with nothing to look forward to in certain areas of your life. For me, it was work and business.

But I realise we should all look forward to something. We should all have ambition. As long as we have life, we owe it to ourselves to have a vision, something that drives us, makes us excited, and gives us purpose.

I am pleased to say my ambition is returning slowly but surely, and to all those feeling lost, don’t stop. Keep moving, even if it doesn’t make sense, even though you can’t see the reason why. Go forward; everything will be clear in time.

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A post shared by Bess Obarotimi (@bessobarotimi)

@bessobarotimiWho was taught what was likeable about themselves when they were growing up and how did that affect you? What were the lessons you learnt as an adult? Reflecting on what I have said in this clip makes me even more intentional about focusing on what’s great about me. Imagine how many more situations we would succeed at if we focused on what was good about ourselves and in others. Well, the world would surely be a better place!♬ original sound – bessobarotimi